October 11, 2010 in Mindfulness and Meditation, Wellness by empoweringwellness

Taking time to put yourself first

I’d like to share another meditation that I use regularly in my practice with clients. It’s called “Put Yourself First,” and once again it comes from an excellent book, “Daily Meditations for Calming Your Anxious Mind,” by Jeffrey Brantley, MD and Wendy Millstine, NC.

I tell my clients all the time, if you plan to continually write checks on your “giving account,” you need to make some deposits into it from time-to-time. Taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own can be exhausting. And, over time, frustration and even resentment can build up which can result in chronic stress and anxiety.  So, with that in mind, I would like to share the following meditation that I use in my practice with clients. It’s called “Put Yourself First.” Putting yourself first is not a selfish act for a caregiver. In fact, it is just the opposite. If you are going to constantly give, you must learn to receive. You must learn how to love and care for yourself in order to be there for others. 

-          Find a quiet place, and take a moment to sit in silence. It is just you, your chair, and your breath. Allow yourself to sink into the chair and get comfortable. Let the chair do the work, and let it support you. 

-          Take a slow, deep breath. Let the breath fill your belly and enter your lungs. If you feel any tension or pain, focus the breath on that spot(s). Allow the breath to come in, and gently take away the tension, the pain, the anxiety. 

-          You may hear voices in your head; they are the many “to do’s” on your list. Don’t try to hush those voices – “do this, don’t forget to do that.” Instead, just allow these thoughts to swim through your mind and eventually spiral out. They are just your thoughts, worries, to-do lists, and reminders. They will be there for you later. For now, you are giving yourself permission to be alone in this quiet space. Give yourself permission to receive, knowing that in doing so, you are honoring your right to let the stillness infuse your mind and your body. 

-          Pay attention to any feelings that may arise when you are busy taking care of everyone else. You may feel resentful that others do not consider your feelings and often expect you to do everything. You may feel discouraged that your needs wind up at the bottom of the list. 

-          You are an excellent caretaker of others, so let’s consider how you can take better care of yourself. Say aloud, or internally to yourself, “I am learning to recognize how I put aside my needs in order to take care of others and how this affects me and my anxiety. When I put myself first, I am taking responsibility for caring for myself the very best that I can. When I love myself and acknowledge the importance of my own needs, I am putting my needs on an equal footing with the needs of others. 

-          Continue to breath and allow the stillness to wash over you. 

-          When you are ready, get up from your chair and go back into the world, prepared to put yourself first.