December 15, 2011 in Coaching, Wellness by empoweringwellness

Five Stress Busters for a Joyous Season

You enter the holiday season with the best of intentions — looking forward to time spent with family and friends, decorating, shopping, baking. But as soon as you pile holiday activities on top of an already busy life, you’re likely to find yourself relating more to Ebineezer Scrooge than Martha Stewart.

Consider these five suggestions to keep holiday stress at bay:

1. Determine a Shopping Budget – For many, gift giving is an important part of the holidays, serving as a way to express love and appreciation for friends and family. But when the credit card bills arrive in January, you may discover you’ve extended your holiday stress well into the New Year. Plan your budget in advance, determine what you can spend, and stick to the plan.

2. Create a Time Budget – Many will make a shopping budget, but what about making a time budget? Before accepting every invitation this year, decide ahead how many parties you can and want to attend while maintaining your sanity. Make choices about your time commitments based on what you’d really like to do this year, rather than what you think you should do or what you’ve always done. Don’t forget to leave time for yourself.

3. Set Food-Intake Boundaries – You’ll likely be tempted to eat in excess, and don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t stick to your pre-holiday eating standards. But do decide ahead of time just how much you’ll deviate from your eating routine.

4. Stick to Your Exercise Regimen – Regular exercise is a powerful stress buster. You’ll feel better, sleep better, avoid weight gain, boost your immune system, and maintain a positive outlook about yourself. While it may seem like an easy time concession to make, don’t give in to the idea. Stick to exercise, and you’ll thank yourself for it.

5. Take Time to Rest – Take time from your schedule to honor the cycles of the season. The holidays fall during winter solstice — the shortest day of the year. Learn from nature, and get plenty of rest.

You can also relieve stress during the holidays, or during any time of the year by scheduling regular massage sessions. Take care of yourself and schedule a session with me today.

October 20, 2011 in Coaching, Emotional Healing, Wellness by empoweringwellness

The art of learning to receive

From the time I was very young, I could remember my parents saying to me, “It is better to give than to receive.” Receiving was somehow viewed as selfish. And I can still recall my parents both telling me how many other children in the world were far less fortunate than me (which was actually true).

Over the years, I began to doubt this notion. I saw the obvious joy in the eyes of others who were the recipients of holiday or birthday gifts. And I saw the look of happiness on my mother’s face when she received cards and flowers for her birthday. It seemed to me that receiving was actually a pretty good deal.

The inability to receive is something I see in my clients every day. My clients are all busy women – many are mothers who are trying to balance the demands of a career with the needs of raising a family and children. The result is that they always put themselves last on their list. They are constantly in a give, give, give mode, which while having its’ rewards, often leads to lack of sleep, increasing levels of stress, fatigue and often illness. Every day during which I work with my clients, I see resentment and anger building within them as they continue to go on giving. I remind them that if they continue to write checks on their “giving accounts,” it is mandatory that they make a few deposits into it from time-to-time!

But, how do you break the patterns that you have taken a lifetime to develop? Giving somehow feels empowering and powerful. You are in control. Receiving means that you have to open yourself and with that often comes feelings of vulnerability and loss of control. There are also plenty of role models out there that teach us how to give, and there are daily reminders that come to us year ’round from charitable organizations. But unfortunately, I don’t think we receive many lessons in our lifetime on how to receive.

Giving and receiving go hand-in-hand. Without the receiver, there can be no giver. They are equals. The joy of giving is not complete and could not be felt without the receiver. And as the receiver, you are actually giving through receiving. The joy you feel is radiated back to the giver and the circle is complete.

Receiving is a skill and it is something that can be learned. Receiving is its’ own reciprocal action. You do not need to immediately return the favor of the gift. Your acceptance is a gift in and of itself. When you receive you begin to recharge yourself, you make deposits into your giving account and make it easier for you to give yourself.

So, how do you “learn” to receive? I think it is going to be different for each person, but here are a few thoughts for you.

1. You are fully capable and complete. You are a whole person, possessing the intrinsic ability to heal yourself. No amount of giving or receiving will ever change this fact.

2. Gifts are precious. So, set boundaries and give from the heart and not from a sense of obligation.

3. Look for ways to open your heart for receiving. Let yourself accept that compliment or other kind words from friends or from your partner. As you become more comfortable with receiving, you’ll empower more giving from those around you and they will receive joy from this. Give yourself permission to receive.

4. Receiving means letting go. You need to be comfortable with this and it takes practice. You don’t have to be in control of every aspect of your life. Allow yourself the space to simply enjoy the act of receiving.

5. As you strive to replace old patterns of behavior with new ones, you may stumble from time-to-time. That’s natural. Remember that each day gives you a new opportunity to start anew. Every day gives you an opportunity to open you heart, to let go and release. Receiving unconditionally is joyful. Take the time to relish it, much like a child relishes opening presents on Christmas Day.

What ideas do you have? How can you open your heart to learn to receive? Please share!

August 12, 2010 in Coaching, Wellness by empoweringwellness

Rewarding (not so) bad behavior

Every day, we are bombarded with endless advice about how to live our lives, what to eat, what not to eat, how much we should exercise, and more. As an Intrinsic Coach, people come to me asking for help and advice on a myriad of topics, such as,

- I need to find time to exercise more
- I want to improve my diet
- I want to achieve greater balance in my life

All of these things are good. We should try to exercise and eat the “right” things. and we definitely need balance in our personal, professional, and spiritual lives. But sometimes, I want to pull a “Steven Slater” if I receive just one more “self-help” tip from some guru or coach.

So, I was really encouraged when I saw this article that highlights new research that shows that these 6 “naughty” habits may actually be good for you!

1. Getting pissed off can keep stress in check – Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University found that anger — as opposed to fear or anxiety — can prompt your brain to release less cortisol, the powerful stress hormone linked to problems like obesity, bone loss, and heart disease.

2. Downing coffee could cut your cancer risk – Studies show that drinking daily joe may minimize your risk for Parkinson’s disease, cancer, and type 2 diabetes.

3. Being a slob may help you breathe easier – Environmental and internal medicine expert Kenneth Rosenman, M.D., says you should focus on keeping your home reasonably clean, not entirely pristine.

4. Drinking beer may benefit your heart and bones – Go ahead, crack open that brewski: Research indicates that beer could be an even better heart-disease fighter than red wine, says Charles Bamforth, Ph.D.

5. Surfing the Internet might tune up your brain – A new study at the University of California at Los Angeles found that just one week of frequent Web browsing can fire up your brain’s complex-reasoning hubs.

6. Chewing gum can keep you trim – Recent research shows that chomping on gum — ever so politely, of course — can improve both short- and long-term memory (scientists are still figuring out exactly why).

So, go ahead. Have a beer. Eat some chocolate, Don’t make your bed today, and spend time on Facebook chatting with your friends. As your mom or grandmother might have said, most things are ok for you as long as you practice a little moderation!

Peace.