May 2, 2012 in Emotional Healing, featured, Massage Therapy by empoweringwellness

Emotional Healing, Tissue Memory and Bodywork – What Happens and Why It is a Good Thing

Eastern medicine and thought have long ago made the connection between our body and our mind. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) takes this idea one step further with the view that we are all connected to the earth and the surrounding universe. Most Native and aboriginal cultures recognize the mind / body connection as well as the deeper connection to the universe. Somehow we in the West fell off that wagon, and it’s only now that we’re trying to get back on.

In his groundbreaking book, “Healing Ancient Wounds – A Renegade’s Wisdom,” author John Barnes describes how injuries and trauma encountered in life affect our minds as well as our bodies. He describes how during treatment of the body, all kinds of feelings and sensations can be released. These sensations may include shaking, pain, tremors, and emotions. Barnes says that feelings are released by triggering what he calls “tissue memory.”

Our body responds to triggers brought on by our five senses: sight, smell, taste, sound, and touch. These are called “proprioceptive triggers.” Powerful images of tragic events such as those that occurred on September 11th, can bring you back to that moment. You may vividly recall exactly where you were and what you were doing. Songs or music may also produce triggers. For me, the old Glenn Miller classic “Moonlight Serenade,” brings me back to my wedding day. All of the emotions, the excitement of that first dance with my wife come flooding back to me. More than 20 years later, the images, emotions and memories associated with that song are still as strong as they were on the day I was married. And all it takes is a song!

Similarly, when fascia (the densely woven connective tissue that surrounds every muscle, bone, nerve, artery and vein as well as all of our internal organs including the heart, lungs, brain and spinal cord) is released through touch, tissue memory can also be triggered. What is especially interesting about fascia is that it is not just a system of separate coverings. It is actually one structure that exists from head to foot without interruption. As such, each part of the body is connected to each other. This is one reason why pain may occur in other parts of the body, away from the area of the original trauma.

When an area injured during trauma (whether it is an accident, abuse, invasive surgery) is released, all of the feelings, emotions, and sensations that you experienced during the initial event may also be released. The same fear, the same pain, the same anxiety may resurface, just as intensely as when the original trauma occurred. At the subconscious level, this is what your body has been feeling all along. In order to fully heal, these sensations must be fully felt so that they can be released.

In her book, “A Patient’s Guide to Understanding John F. Barnes Myofascial Release,” physical therapist Cathy Covell writes:

Fully feeling these sensations is easy to say, but not always easy to do. Remember that the sensations can feel as intense as they did during the initial trauma itself. Many times these sensations that occurred during the trauma were overwhelming, which is why we didn’t release them in the first place. One of our self-defense mechanisms that automatically take over when we are overwhelmed with pain, fear, etc. is to leave our body. What I mean is that we can become completely numb and stuff the pain and emotions. It can seem just as overwhelming when the tissue memory is triggered again.

A sensitive therapist, within the therapeutic environment, can help a client fully connect mind and body, and help the client to safely release the sensations associated with the trauma. It is only through this kind of release that you can truly heal. Unless you completely let go, your body continues to experience the trauma at a subconscious level. If the body doesn’t release, restrictions can form in the fascia, creating chronic pain and making it worse over time. The added stress on your body may also compromise your body’s immune system, which can lead to other forms of illness.

Within the therapeutic environment, with a competent and sensitive therapist, you have the ability to release and clear the pain and trauma of the past. When we fully let go of the pain of our past, we can embrace life in the present, and experience the love and beauty of living in the moment.

March 26, 2012 in Body image, Emotional Healing, Massage Therapy, Wellness, Women's Health by empoweringwellness

Massage Therapy and Cancer

As I write this post, a dear friend of mine is struggling with cancer. She has bravely fought the disease for more than 5 years now. So, my heart and healing thoughts go out to here as I type this. She has been a regular client of mine and I know that she has benefited from nurturing, caring touch.

There’s no doubt that cancer patients can benefit from massage therapy. In fact, bodywork can serve as a nurturing healthcare option during the stressful, doctor appointment-ridden time of oncology management.

“Cancer treatment places a heavy toxin load on the body, which massage can help eliminate,” says Gayle MacDonald, author of Medicine Hands: Massage Therapy for People with Cancer. “However, too much too fast may be more than the client’s body can comfortably handle. Skilled touch is beneficial at nearly every stage of the cancer experience, during hospitalization, the pre- or post- operative period, in the out-patient clinic, during chemotherapy and radiation, recovery at home, remission or cure, and in the end stage of life.”

The benefits of massage for these clients include improved blood circulation, equalized blood pressure, and help with fatigue and nausea. The place to start is by consulting with your physician and your massage therapist. For those who are two to three months out from treatment, bodywork that can be used includes lymph drainage therapies, trigger point therapy, neuromuscular therapy, myotherapy and myofascial release, among others. It’s better to wait before receiving deeper work.

While hospitalized, some appropriate techniques include cranial -sacral therapy, polarity therapy, Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. MacDonald says no matter how severe the treatment’s side effects, there’s always a way to administer some type of bodywork. According to massage therapist and former oncology nurse Cheryl Chapman, while it’s important to receive touch from a qualified practitioner who has worked with cancer patients before, “Touch is always appropriate–there isn’t anyone who is untouchable.”

If you or someone you love is battling cancer, consider massage as a therapeutic, nurturing choice to help navigate this difficult journey.

January 31, 2012 in Emotional Healing, Mindfulness and Meditation by empoweringwellness

Living with Metta – Loving Kindness

I wanted to share a beautiful meditation that I received in an email from my friend Leah. Leah is also a massage therapist and she is one of the few therapists that I actually allow to work on me. Leah has also introduced me to the concept of “Metta.”

Metta in its simplest definition means “loving-kindness.” At a deeper level, it is an attitude of goodwill and compassion towards yourself and others. Leah learned about metta through her Thai Massage trainings and subsequent research on meditation for stress relief.

This is the meditation that Leah shared with me. And now, I wanted to take a moment to share it with you. It is one of the meditations that I use to begin and end my day. I find that it is a great way to have patience and compassion to approach day-to-day situations.

Replace the “you” with “I” to bring peace to yourself first before you can send it to others. Take two full breaths between each line and repeat if desired.

Metta Meditation

May you be Happy
May you be Healthy
May you be Peaceful
May you be Safe

With Metta,

Fred

January 23, 2012 in Emotional Healing, featured, Wellness by empoweringwellness

Learning to Tango

I was walking with my wife and our dogs the other day when we passed the local fire station. There was a young firefighter / EMT outside and when she saw us with our dogs, she called out to us, “Come on over! We have dog biscuits.”

Our dogs love walking near the local fire station. The crews who work there are all very dog friendly, and rarely a visit goes by without our dogs getting some sort of treat. The other day was no different.

As we continued our walk, I mentioned to my wife that “if I had it to do over all again, I would seriously consider becoming a firefighter / EMT.” My wife asked me why, and I said something about how I thought it was a really cool profession and that they get to drive really big, cool trucks!

After we returned home, I tweeted the following from my Twitter account, “So, if you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently? I, for one, would become a fireman / EMT! What about you?”

I received some very interesting answers. My friend Kat replied that she would have loved to have studied abroad when she had the chance. Another person replied that they wish they had become a physical therapist. And yet another said that she wished that she had continued to dance and that she would love to learn to tango.

The tango remark reminded me of one of my favorite film scenes. You know the scene. It is from “Scent of a Woman,” where Al Pacino gives an impromptu tango lesson to Gabrielle Anwar. He asks her why she hasn’t learned to tango and she replies that she is afraid. Afraid of what, Pacino asks? And she replies that she is afraid to make a mistake. Pacino says, “There are no mistakes in the tango.”

There are no mistakes in the tango. I really love that. I think what he means is that when you submit to the seductive power of the tango, you become swept away by it. That seductive power overcomes fear. And when you overcome fear, you are not afraid of making mistakes. As Pacino says, “When you make a mistake in the tango, you get tangled up, and then you tango on!”

Fear of making a mistake is what holds most of us back. It keeps us tongue-tied when we try to learn a foreign language. It prevents us from trying something new or different. It holds us back from reaching our true calling. Fear of making mistakes sabotages our happiness.

My friend Lissa Rankin said to me that I could still become a firefighter if I wanted. She even suggested that the volunteer department in her town would welcome me with open arms, and that they also held the best BBQ party every summer! Now, I love BBQ a lot and it’s quite an incentive, but I do think I am pretty happy with my life right now. When I walked away from the corporate world 8 years ago to become a massage therapist and coach, I knew that I would make mistakes. But instead of fearing mistakes, I actually embraced them. Just like in Pacino’s tango, I knew that those mistakes would become part of my dance and that I would eventually glide through them. I would, as Pacino said, “just tango on!”

I’m very happy with all of the twists and turns my life has taken. I’m grateful for the incredible friends who grace my life every day. I know that on the long and meandering road called life, that I have “gone a long way out of the way, in order to come back a short distance correctly.”

But, I wouldn’t mind driving one of those cool fire trucks one day! And most of all, I really would love to learn to tango. So, I know I will. Someday, very soon.

I hope you enjoy this scene from Scent of a Woman as much as I do! And when you get tangled up in life, just tango on!

Please follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

December 9, 2011 in Body image, Emotional Healing, Massage Therapy by empoweringwellness

Stop Judging Your Beautiful Self

My recent article and video about Lomi Lomi massage has sparked a discussion about body image. Today, I’m featuring an article written by Rebecca Jones who is a colleague from the Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals (ABMP) association. Rebecca continues the discussion here with her article about the positive impact that touch therapy can have on body image.

Massage Fits You (yes, YOU!)
Rebecca Jones

Sol Benson loathed her body. It went beyond mere embarrassment at how “fat” she was. Deeper still was the conviction that her body was unworthy of love, underserving of nurturing.

And it was that alienation from her own body that for years kept Benson, a professional dancer who has waged a lifelong battle with anorexia, from getting massage. “I stayed away because getting a massage was being good to myself,” said the 45-year-old Colorado mother of two, whose own mother and brother are massage therapists. “If I’m on a weight loss cycle, it’s like ‘I don’t deserve love, I don’t deserve food, I don’t deserve to feel good about myself.’”

Benson credits Mary Rose–a Boulder, Colorado, massage therapist who has developed a special style of acupressure for the physically fragile–with understanding her psychological fragility enough to help her turn massage into a tool for healing, rather than a doorway to despair.

It was the tender care from Rose, Benson explains, that helped the process. Her nonjudgmental ways helped Benson maintain balance. If, however, Rose had brought up weight, or in this case, the lack thereof, Benson admits it could have sent her into another purging cycle.

Managing Body Image
Benson’s story illustrates just how complex the issues of body image can be in 21st century America and just how valuable bodywork is in mending distorted body image.

Developing a positive body image is about becoming present, grounded, open, aware, and unafraid to find what’s at the core and work through it. It’s about being mindful, and listening to what your body has to say–a big step on the way to a healthier lifestyle and not necessarily an easy one to take. It requires courage and hard work to learn self-acceptance. And bodywork can play a key role in this endeavor.

With America in the grip of an obesity epidemic–while at the same time holding up waif-like thinness as a cultural ideal–many people are worried about excess pounds and the harsh judgments that accompany them. Embarrassment at the thought of uncovering imperfect bodies for the close contact of a massage or bodywork session drives away untold numbers of potential clients.

The problem isn’t limited to issues of weight. Many people avoid massage because of embarrassment about acne, surgical scars, birthmarks they consider unsightly, or some other physical deformity or flaw.

“A really common one is, ‘I have such ugly feet,’” Rose says. “I always laugh and say that in 20 years, I haven’t seen an ugly foot yet. People just have bad attitudes about their feet. In general, people are so self-judgmental.”

Relax, Really
Massage therapists specialize in the human body. They don’t judge. Rather, they see anatomy.

“This is something that’s so prevalent and something we deal with daily,” says Jonathan Burt, 27, a Detroit massage therapist and massage instructor. “I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard, ‘I have to wait until I get into shape before I come in for a massage.’ Clients think they have to be in shape before they can relax.” Newsflash: Relaxation is not exclusive to model body types.

Given the increased blood flow that results from massage, as well as the benefits to the lymphatic and other body systems, Burt believes overweight people and others who suffer from limited mobility are the people most likely to benefit from a good massage. That’s why he especially treasures his larger clients.

The idea of taking your clothes off for a massage is often more intimidating than the reality. In fact, practitioners make draping an art form, ensuring the client doesn’t feel exposed. And by the way, says Burt, you’re not the only imperfect body around here. “We all have flaws,” says Burt, who gave his first massage at age seven, when his grandmother, a double amputee, asked him to massage her stumps. “Myself, I’m not the American Gladiator. I inform people I have flaws as well, and I’d be more than willing to help them overcome their self-consciousness.”

Viewpoint: Compassion
We’re all in this together, and your massage therapist is operating from a place of compassion. Your practitioner is there to create and hold a safe space for you. Says Charlie Murdach, 38, a Portsmouth, New Hampshire, massage therapist, “For me, it’s meeting the person where that person is and addressing that person in an appropriate and compassionate way.”

Murdach, who has been a massage therapist since 1990, says he has yet to meet a potential client that he can’t help, regardless of that person’s physical condition. He believes this is due to the massage therapist’s ability to avoiding forcing anything, but to also being open to the possibility that miracles can happen.

Murdach explains your practitioner’s role: “Whatever is going on with that person, whether it’s a deformity or some type of disability, I make sure I can step up and hold the waters calm for that person. It doesn’t matter if they’re missing an arm, or have a deformed hand, the person who is standing there desires to move forward.”

Getting a massage can do wonders for body image and help bridge the disconnect between the physical and emotional. A wounded psyche can lead you to believe you don’t deserve a massage, and this is when you need it the most!

Take the first step. Schedule an appointment with me today by using my online scheduling system.

November 28, 2011 in Emotional Healing, Energy Work, Massage Therapy by empoweringwellness

Massage Therapy – Healing through the scars

In my post today, I continue on my theme from last week on the positive effects of regular bodywork and massage on body image.

Healing through the scars

A negative body image is not necessarily about those few extra pounds on the hips. It might instead be tied to the scars of past injuries and surgeries. Massage can help here, too. For example, for burn victims, research has shown massage can help in the healing process, while for postsurgery breast cancer patients, massage and bodywork can reintegrate a battered body and spirit. And of course, in the case of physical or sexual abuse, massage therapy helps to reconnect the client with her body.

In addition to softening scar tissue and speeding postsurgery recovery, or helping to heal the trauma of violence and abuse, massage therapy and bodywork is about respect, reverence, and learning to look at, and beyond, the scars.

The Value of Touch

Touch is a powerful ally in the quest for physical and mental health. It not only can help you be more in tune with your body, but it can help create a sense of wellness and “wholeness” that is often lost in our segmented, over scheduled lives. When we regain that connection, it’s much easier to remember that our bodies are something to be cherished, nurtured, and loved, not belittled, betrayed, and forgotten.

Take the first step. Schedule an appointment with me today by using my online scheduling system.

November 16, 2011 in Emotional Healing, featured, Massage Therapy by empoweringwellness

The positive impact of caring touch on body image

I recently posted an article on Lomi Lomi, which is an ancient Hawaiian form of massage that has been passed down from family member to family member for several thousand years. It’s a very beautiful and flowing form of bodywork and healing that involves long, full strokes across the entire length of the body. And traditionally, the draping used in Lomi Lomi is minimal compared with what we have become used to in the United States.

Several of my readers commented to me that they would feel very uncomfortable with Lomi Lomi (especially after having viewed the video that I include in the post), because they were very self-conscious about their body, their weight and so on. And that started a whole discussion around body image, hence this post.

I hope that this will be the first in many articles on the topic of body image. I will also invite guest bloggers to weigh in on the topic as well. My friend, Jennifer Youn will be one of those guest writers and what has prompted her to write on the topic is the overwhelming pressure young girls put on themselves to be a size 0. So, look forward to Jennifer’s posts here soon.

I will approach the topic of body image from a slightly different perspective – from that of a massage therapist who has worked on thousands of women over the years. My perspective is also that massage therapy and bodywork, when performed by a caring, sensitive and competent therapist encourages awareness of the body just as much as it enhances our ability to ground ourselves and to relax.

The book Body Image: A Handbook of Theory, Research and Clinical Practice describes massage therapy as a “somatic (of the body) approach that is helpful in positively affecting body image by helping the client to reconnect to the body in a very concrete manner.” That reconnection and the ability to establish a positive experience through caring touch is at the core of the work that I have done with trauma victims and survivors of sexual assault or domestic violence.

Imaginal massage

A recent article published by Massage and Bodywork Magazine suggests an exercise called “imaginal massage.” This exercise involves the client visualizing a massage occurring, with the healing hands of the therapist as a means of accepting her own body. The client can also use this technique during the actual massage session by imagining the healing and affirmative energy being transferred into her body.

Love your body, love your belly

Every muscle in our body has a beginning point and ending point. We call this the origin and insertion. I believe that the origin and insertion of our soul lies within our belly, and gentle abdominal massage is an important part of my work. Unfortunately, it’s not practiced that widely in the US anymore. The belly is a very sensitive area for women and many are not used to having it touched.

Eastern cultures view this part of the body as the source of our intrinsic energy – the source of life. The Japanese call this the Hara, and they believe that our vital spirit resides within it – specifically at a point just below the navel called the “Tan-Den.”

In addition to gentle abdominal massage, I encourage my clients to perform a simple exercise that I call “love your body, love your belly.” I suggest that they do this when they are in the shower in the morning or at night. This exercise will help connect your with your body, and helps to improve the overall condition of your body.

Start the exercise by placing one hand just below and the other just above your navel. Begin gently rubbing your belly in a clockwise, circular motion (from left to right). Allow your breathing to come from your belly by filling it with air and slowly letting it out. This helps to engage the thoracic diaphragm. Feel your breath as it expands into the depths of your belly. As you exhale, draw the belly in, letting the energy circulate throughout your body. As you perform this exercise, if you notice any part of your body where there is pain or tension, allow the breath to come into that spot in your body, and as you exhale, allow the breath to take the pain and tension away.

Massage therapy and body image

Receiving regular bodywork is a way for you to revere and care for your body. It helps to nurture the connection between your mind and body and helps you to begin the process of accepting yourself exactly as you are. A sensitive massage therapist, using caring touch, can help you to bridge that connection. Your therapist will hold a sacred space for you as you make that journey.

Take the first step. Schedule an appointment with me today by using my online scheduling system.

November 1, 2011 in Emotional Healing, Essential Oils, Mindfulness and Meditation, Wellness by empoweringwellness

The “art” of letting go of anger

According to one survey, traffic in our nation’s capital where I live, is the fourth worst in the country. The three cities that are ahead of DC are (in order), Los Angeles, New York and Chicago. I’ve driven in all of those places, and believe me, there is not much difference between the worst on this list.

I drive about 40 minutes (on a good day!) from my home to my office in Arlington. The most direct route has me driving into the teeth of the worst traffic in the area. And like most drivers, I get frustrated and upset whenever someone cuts me off, drives too slowly, or changes lanes without signalling.

This past summer, I noticed that I was becoming really upset and tense during my daily commute. It’s not a feeling that I enjoyed, but what could I do about it? I certainly did not want to bring this tension and anger into my work, into sessions with my clients. After all, I was supposed to help them relieve tension and anxiety, not contribute to it.

The answer was actually pretty simple. I just let those feelings go. As traffic increased and became more congested, I decided that I needed to let that tension, created by all the drivers around me, to just pass through me. I decided I was not going take it on, and not let it stick.

Whenever I felt myself becoming tense or anxious during my commute, I would focus on my breath, breathing deeply and slowly from deep within my belly. I performed little grounding meditations while driving to help bring on a sense of calm and well-being. I kept telling myself that all of these people around me are just trying to do the same thing that I wanted to do: get to work, drop a child off at school, attend a meeting, or drive home. Once I realized that we were all in this together, that we all were trying to do the same thing, it became much easier remain calm even during the very worst of the rush hour. My daily commute became an extension of my meditative and mindfulness practice.

I also did some very practical things this past summer that helped me to reinforce the practices I performed in my car each day.

I started keeping my car scrupulously clean. I subscribed to a service at the local car wash that allows me to get my car washed once a day. I usually don’t do this, but I always go in at least once a week, and often several times during the week. I decided that if I were going to spend more than an hour a day in my car, that it would be a pleasant and relaxing experience. I apply essential oils to the inside of my car. A blend of patchouli, bergamot, sandlewood, rose absolute, jasmine, cinnamon, vetiver and ylang ylang laced with vanilla helped create a powerful proprioceptive anchor onto which my calming meditations could cling. Friends who ride in my car now say that driving with me is like getting a massage!

The end result is that I am able to get through my day and release anger that would otherwise build up. Is it perfect? No, of course not. Do I still get frustrated when traffic backs up? Of course I do. But, each moment of frustration and anger creates an opportunity for me to release and let it go. And rather than get down on myself, I embrace these opportunities to start each moment fresh. It is part of the “art” of letting go of anger. It takes practice, but it is so worth it!

October 20, 2011 in Coaching, Emotional Healing, Wellness by empoweringwellness

The art of learning to receive

From the time I was very young, I could remember my parents saying to me, “It is better to give than to receive.” Receiving was somehow viewed as selfish. And I can still recall my parents both telling me how many other children in the world were far less fortunate than me (which was actually true).

Over the years, I began to doubt this notion. I saw the obvious joy in the eyes of others who were the recipients of holiday or birthday gifts. And I saw the look of happiness on my mother’s face when she received cards and flowers for her birthday. It seemed to me that receiving was actually a pretty good deal.

The inability to receive is something I see in my clients every day. My clients are all busy women – many are mothers who are trying to balance the demands of a career with the needs of raising a family and children. The result is that they always put themselves last on their list. They are constantly in a give, give, give mode, which while having its’ rewards, often leads to lack of sleep, increasing levels of stress, fatigue and often illness. Every day during which I work with my clients, I see resentment and anger building within them as they continue to go on giving. I remind them that if they continue to write checks on their “giving accounts,” it is mandatory that they make a few deposits into it from time-to-time!

But, how do you break the patterns that you have taken a lifetime to develop? Giving somehow feels empowering and powerful. You are in control. Receiving means that you have to open yourself and with that often comes feelings of vulnerability and loss of control. There are also plenty of role models out there that teach us how to give, and there are daily reminders that come to us year ’round from charitable organizations. But unfortunately, I don’t think we receive many lessons in our lifetime on how to receive.

Giving and receiving go hand-in-hand. Without the receiver, there can be no giver. They are equals. The joy of giving is not complete and could not be felt without the receiver. And as the receiver, you are actually giving through receiving. The joy you feel is radiated back to the giver and the circle is complete.

Receiving is a skill and it is something that can be learned. Receiving is its’ own reciprocal action. You do not need to immediately return the favor of the gift. Your acceptance is a gift in and of itself. When you receive you begin to recharge yourself, you make deposits into your giving account and make it easier for you to give yourself.

So, how do you “learn” to receive? I think it is going to be different for each person, but here are a few thoughts for you.

1. You are fully capable and complete. You are a whole person, possessing the intrinsic ability to heal yourself. No amount of giving or receiving will ever change this fact.

2. Gifts are precious. So, set boundaries and give from the heart and not from a sense of obligation.

3. Look for ways to open your heart for receiving. Let yourself accept that compliment or other kind words from friends or from your partner. As you become more comfortable with receiving, you’ll empower more giving from those around you and they will receive joy from this. Give yourself permission to receive.

4. Receiving means letting go. You need to be comfortable with this and it takes practice. You don’t have to be in control of every aspect of your life. Allow yourself the space to simply enjoy the act of receiving.

5. As you strive to replace old patterns of behavior with new ones, you may stumble from time-to-time. That’s natural. Remember that each day gives you a new opportunity to start anew. Every day gives you an opportunity to open you heart, to let go and release. Receiving unconditionally is joyful. Take the time to relish it, much like a child relishes opening presents on Christmas Day.

What ideas do you have? How can you open your heart to learn to receive? Please share!

June 27, 2011 in Emotional Healing, featured, PTSD, Wellness by empoweringwellness

Understanding PTSD

Today, June 27, 2011 is National Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Awareness Day. The US Senate established this day as a way to increase public awareness for PTSD. The following infographic provides a good summary of PTSD, and defines the symptoms, causes and treatments for the various types of traumatic events that can lead to PTSD.

Brought to you by: Masters in Social Work | MSW@USC