January 23, 2012 in Emotional Healing, featured, Wellness by empoweringwellness

Learning to Tango

I was walking with my wife and our dogs the other day when we passed the local fire station. There was a young firefighter / EMT outside and when she saw us with our dogs, she called out to us, “Come on over! We have dog biscuits.”

Our dogs love walking near the local fire station. The crews who work there are all very dog friendly, and rarely a visit goes by without our dogs getting some sort of treat. The other day was no different.

As we continued our walk, I mentioned to my wife that “if I had it to do over all again, I would seriously consider becoming a firefighter / EMT.” My wife asked me why, and I said something about how I thought it was a really cool profession and that they get to drive really big, cool trucks!

After we returned home, I tweeted the following from my Twitter account, “So, if you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently? I, for one, would become a fireman / EMT! What about you?”

I received some very interesting answers. My friend Kat replied that she would have loved to have studied abroad when she had the chance. Another person replied that they wish they had become a physical therapist. And yet another said that she wished that she had continued to dance and that she would love to learn to tango.

The tango remark reminded me of one of my favorite film scenes. You know the scene. It is from “Scent of a Woman,” where Al Pacino gives an impromptu tango lesson to Gabrielle Anwar. He asks her why she hasn’t learned to tango and she replies that she is afraid. Afraid of what, Pacino asks? And she replies that she is afraid to make a mistake. Pacino says, “There are no mistakes in the tango.”

There are no mistakes in the tango. I really love that. I think what he means is that when you submit to the seductive power of the tango, you become swept away by it. That seductive power overcomes fear. And when you overcome fear, you are not afraid of making mistakes. As Pacino says, “When you make a mistake in the tango, you get tangled up, and then you tango on!”

Fear of making a mistake is what holds most of us back. It keeps us tongue-tied when we try to learn a foreign language. It prevents us from trying something new or different. It holds us back from reaching our true calling. Fear of making mistakes sabotages our happiness.

My friend Lissa Rankin said to me that I could still become a firefighter if I wanted. She even suggested that the volunteer department in her town would welcome me with open arms, and that they also held the best BBQ party every summer! Now, I love BBQ a lot and it’s quite an incentive, but I do think I am pretty happy with my life right now. When I walked away from the corporate world 8 years ago to become a massage therapist and coach, I knew that I would make mistakes. But instead of fearing mistakes, I actually embraced them. Just like in Pacino’s tango, I knew that those mistakes would become part of my dance and that I would eventually glide through them. I would, as Pacino said, “just tango on!”

I’m very happy with all of the twists and turns my life has taken. I’m grateful for the incredible friends who grace my life every day. I know that on the long and meandering road called life, that I have “gone a long way out of the way, in order to come back a short distance correctly.”

But, I wouldn’t mind driving one of those cool fire trucks one day! And most of all, I really would love to learn to tango. So, I know I will. Someday, very soon.

I hope you enjoy this scene from Scent of a Woman as much as I do! And when you get tangled up in life, just tango on!