November 1, 2011 in Emotional Healing, Essential Oils, Mindfulness and Meditation, Wellness by empoweringwellness

The “art” of letting go of anger

According to one survey, traffic in our nation’s capital where I live, is the fourth worst in the country. The three cities that are ahead of DC are (in order), Los Angeles, New York and Chicago. I’ve driven in all of those places, and believe me, there is not much difference between the worst on this list.

I drive about 40 minutes (on a good day!) from my home to my office in Arlington. The most direct route has me driving into the teeth of the worst traffic in the area. And like most drivers, I get frustrated and upset whenever someone cuts me off, drives too slowly, or changes lanes without signalling.

This past summer, I noticed that I was becoming really upset and tense during my daily commute. It’s not a feeling that I enjoyed, but what could I do about it? I certainly did not want to bring this tension and anger into my work, into sessions with my clients. After all, I was supposed to help them relieve tension and anxiety, not contribute to it.

The answer was actually pretty simple. I just let those feelings go. As traffic increased and became more congested, I decided that I needed to let that tension, created by all the drivers around me, to just pass through me. I decided I was not going take it on, and not let it stick.

Whenever I felt myself becoming tense or anxious during my commute, I would focus on my breath, breathing deeply and slowly from deep within my belly. I performed little grounding meditations while driving to help bring on a sense of calm and well-being. I kept telling myself that all of these people around me are just trying to do the same thing that I wanted to do: get to work, drop a child off at school, attend a meeting, or drive home. Once I realized that we were all in this together, that we all were trying to do the same thing, it became much easier remain calm even during the very worst of the rush hour. My daily commute became an extension of my meditative and mindfulness practice.

I also did some very practical things this past summer that helped me to reinforce the practices I performed in my car each day.

I started keeping my car scrupulously clean. I subscribed to a service at the local car wash that allows me to get my car washed once a day. I usually don’t do this, but I always go in at least once a week, and often several times during the week. I decided that if I were going to spend more than an hour a day in my car, that it would be a pleasant and relaxing experience. I apply essential oils to the inside of my car. A blend of patchouli, bergamot, sandlewood, rose absolute, jasmine, cinnamon, vetiver and ylang ylang laced with vanilla helped create a powerful proprioceptive anchor onto which my calming meditations could cling. Friends who ride in my car now say that driving with me is like getting a massage!

The end result is that I am able to get through my day and release anger that would otherwise build up. Is it perfect? No, of course not. Do I still get frustrated when traffic backs up? Of course I do. But, each moment of frustration and anger creates an opportunity for me to release and let it go. And rather than get down on myself, I embrace these opportunities to start each moment fresh. It is part of the “art” of letting go of anger. It takes practice, but it is so worth it!